The Dangling Few

I'm a dangling runner. For a long time I thought I was alone. It turns out I'm part of a special breed of "runners". Let me explain. Have you ever been out running, walking, biking, or what have you and just had to go, well, for lack of a better word, poo? The old number two. Now, I'm not talking about you have to go, finish your run thirty minutes later, then stumble into the restroom and finish your business. No, no, no, I'm talking about you need to go, NOW! You can make it maybe two, three hundred more feet, but even then there's some nasty work pushing out your backside and it takes every once of strength not to destroy your shorts. If you are incredibly lucky you can find a store with a restroom. Most of the time you have to make due with a random port-a-potty. Every so often its just you, the woods, and a few hopefully clean, leaves.

It can come on suddenly and threatens to not only ruin your run, but the rest of your day. (not to mention your underwear) Now, like I said, I thought I was alone for most of my youth. It takes some special training to be a Dangling Runner. Pushing out anything that is in there before the run is mandatory. Failure to do this can be catastrophic. You need to plan your routes so that you are never too far away from a restroom of some sort. This takes time and with luck you run in a well populated area. Finally, don't even think of having Mexican the night before!

Now, like I said, for most of my life I thought I was alone. It's not like running is a common topic to talk about with people. Talking about what your bowels do while on a run is even more taboo! I eventually found out my sister and mother are also amazing Dangling Runners. I branched out a bit and found a few others, but also found out we are a pretty unique breed. When I started teaching running at the store I would bring this topic up around week six or so and find most people laughing it off. But, every now and then someone's eyes would light up with understanding. They, like me, had been a Dangling Runner all their lives and suffered in silence about it.

Resolved: People are more alike then we think. Our commonalities make life better.

Today i went out at lunch. It's finally like 90 degrees here and I love the heat. So, I chose lunch more then breakfast. I knew in the morning it was going to be a bad run. All morning I tried to get out what I could before the run, but was improperly backed up! So, around the lake I went. Half way through my Dangling hit full force. Thankfully there was a port-a-potty near by. I used it for about 90 seconds, jumped up and ran off. The run finished and I did likewise in a proper restroom. My run was good and faster then usual. I'll always be a Dangling Runner. I'm not ashamed of it. It's as a part of me as my hair or eyes. These days when I talk to people about running, I usually bring up my "gift". Most of the time it gets a laugh, but every now and then, it changes a life.

Resolved: Don't be afraid of the embarrassment of sharing your uniqueness. Most of the time people will find you even more amazing.

That's all for now. Hope everyone enjoys the amazing week. Until next time, trying to be honest with myself and the world.


Wednesday, June 29
Time out: 1210, Time in: 1241
Distance: 2.85 miles
Walks: 2.5 / Inhaler use: 3
Songs:

Live streaming Jay and Silent Bob Get Old on SIR, guest host Ralph Garmon.